THE BIG PICTURE

       We now know that Man had long ago not evolved from apes into Homo Sapiens as was hypothesized by early scientists like Charles Darwin and Carl Sagen. Extensive archaeological excavations using a combination of super-computers and state of the art ultra-sound equipment had led to the recovery of an estimated 90% of all humanoid-formed fossils buried in the earth. The fossils in turn were put through vigorous analysis by the most brilliant anthropologists of the age who conclusively declared that there was no link between Man and ape.

That study was done in year 2173, which is 983 years prior to the current date. Now in the year 3156, technology has made advances of such quantum leaps that inter-galactic travel is a safe and convenient process for even a working class citizen. However I shall first bring you through the ages betwixt the Neolithic rise of Man to date, in order that a brief record is kept for our progeny to understand in time to come.

       After the creation of Man around 4.4 million B.C (of which present day scientist are still left clueless as to how it came about), homo habilis or ‘skillful man’ began to make use of crude tools like clubs and flints which distinctly separated them from the animal kingdom. Over a course of 3 million years, the brains of the homo habilis expanded through generations of evolution to be twice the size since their inception. We have named those particular ‘people’ homo erectus. They showed an intelligence, which far surpassed the cleverest of mammals, which were already the most adept class of animals that roamed the Earth. The discovery of fire, which we well know to have taken place circa 70,000 B.C, opened a whole new vista of technology to the humanoids which are now known as the Neanderthal Man. Soon the smartest of the kind was able to create fires of such heat as to enable them to work with metals. Naturally the metals were worked into simple weapons, which they used to great effect in hunting for food and for waging war amongst others. The dexterity of the metal-mongers increased greatly within 60,000 years of the incept of fire and intricate armor was used in wars. Armies of men banded together to slaughter other armies with increased ferocity and viciousness. The beginning of 5000 B.C marked renewed vigour in the refinement of technology. Woven silk, gunpowder, bows, wheels, rope, pottery and coins became pervasive commodities in society. Division of labour started to evolve, not simply on a gender basis but in different fields to cater to the requirements of society. Strong and intelligent men set about to lead other men and small-scale organizational behaviour took on a life of its own becoming complex socio-economic empires. Influential men set up kingdoms through lengthy conquests and imposed their will on many other people, sometimes for the betterment of all involved leading to increases in the collective stash of knowledge among men. The names by which the men called themselves were Egyptian, Greek, Roman; one dynasty replacing the other in chronological fashion as religion and culture evolved and guided the actions of Man. Soon the concept of empire grew to the dislike of the lower classed as they suffered great anguish at the hands of those in power. Mentalities changed as people likened themselves to belonging to certain religions. Their identity was no longer subscribed as to being an Egyptian, Greek or Roman but as to being Christian, Buddhist or Muslim. Idealism and religious fervour grew to such a state that cities of men clashed against one another in dispute over the superiority of each of the God/Gods they believed in. Believing that the blessings of their own God was surely to lead them to victory against the other cities who worshipped inferior or non-existant Gods, Earth turned into a battleground. Great campaigns were won and loss with legions of people massacred in the process. 5000 years had to pass in order for the world to subside to a less volatile condition. By then historic figures like Marco Polo and Thomas Aquinas marked the closure of the first millennium A.D. Their works of ‘Travels” and ‘Summa Theologica’ added to the compendium of human knowledge. Written works began to flourish and fictional works brought humans into the up-till-then untapped domain of the higher reasoning mindscape. Intelligent and strong races once again exerted their influence onto their surrounding neighbors. Empires were formed once more. This time, vast improvements of technology and systematic compilation of knowledge through enormous libraries took place and golden eras of relative peace and prosperity bloomed in places belonging to the English Empire, the Spanish Empire, French Empire and the Chinese Empire. Till now the times passed were beginning to be referred to by scholars as the Stone Age, Metal Age, the Renaissance etc. Consequently the Industrial Age began with the invention of the steam engine. Thomas Edison and Benjamin Franklin are popular figures in history, which until now are still common names known by the layman. They were simply two of the many people who advanced the collective knowledge of Man. Then came the Information Age where computers and automated machines reduced the work-load of people. Bill Gates was solely responsible for the pervasive infiltration of thinking machines into our everyday lives. His monument still stands in the National History Museum back on Earth.

       Following the dawn of computers, all works of sciences and arts were saved into an electronic network known as the Internet. The data within this system grew exponentially by the month as servers all around the world hungrily joined themselves with the collective consciousness, simultaneously contributing their own share of data. From 1991 to 2007, a surveying company noted that the data within the system grew from two point seven hundred trillion gigabytes to five point one trillion trillion gigabytes. Countless talented persons through the extrapolation of the easily accessible information, made even greater triumphs of science and art than was previously accomplished. ‘Microsoft’-the software giant of the 21^st century unleashed the artificial intelligence programme that served to bring sciences and arts into an unprecedented plane as was never achieved by human genius alone. The A.I was used in every aspect of society. Cars chauffeured passengers to their destinations without the need for any driver, food was cooked through smart application of sensory technology within A.I microwaves and shoes had auto-laces that tied themselves. Governments in every country decreased their defense budget as peace broke out in every continent of the world due to poverty being reduced to zero. Shared information from the Internet served to open up communications among all governments and by the year 2090 the United Earth Government was formed, negating all previous claims of sovereignty and borderlines.

       As almost every major mystery and problem on Earth, e.g tectonic processes, war, global warming, energy production, UFOs, gene sequencing, wind and current movements, bio-mechanisms of all living creature underwater, on land and in the air, cancer and fatal diseases and the secret to longevity was unraveled and solved by then; mankind took to exploring past the Solar System as was natural of human curiosity.

       Although space travel was available to humans early in the 21^st century, the instruments and processes involved were expensive, cumbersome and slow. It was also dangerous and slow to bear fruit as men couldn’t reach past the Solar System within one lifetime in their torpid space shuttles. It was only after the five Great Physicists of the institutes of MIT, Curtin, Beijing, Cambridge and Greenwich came together to collaborate on the construction of a warp drive engine did deep space travel become a possibility. After their deaths, they passed on their lives work to a great many renowned scientists who further refined and improved on the engine. On 15^th January 2103, star cruiser Columbus was launched into the great void past Pluto, bound for a six year return journey to the Alpha Centuri System, the closest binary star system to Earth. The voyagers returned in 2109 to share the knowledge garnered from the sojourn. Following which, an even greater break through in warp drive technology was made which allowed space crafts to accelerate to faster than the speed of light causing Einstein’s work to become obsolete.

       Collaborated Earth Space Agency (CESA ) started to build a fleet of small exploratory space crafts which were dispatched to the planets of our Solar System to research the plausibility of terra-forming them. By then the technology to terra-form whole planets were already in hand thus it took merely 10 years before Mars, Mercury, Uranus, Pluto and 32 of the moons of the giant gas planets were colonized. Ganymede, Io, Europa, Callisto, Metis, Adrastea, Amalthea, Thebe, were found to be rich in iron ore, uranium deposits and diamonds together with numerous other useful compounds which led to them becoming Industrial Moons that supplied raw materials for every aspect of Man’s exploratory conquest. 8 space stations the size of small cities were constructed over the atmospheres of Earth and her moon. They served as inter-planetary pit stops and housed almost 500,000 people in each of them. This was the state the human race was in in year 2200. The expansion went on at an increasing exponential rate, which had shown no indication of retarding till as of last year.

       As of 3155, 89% of all habitable planets in the galaxy have human populations residing there. 100% of all systems in the galaxy have been surveyed and mapped. 700 billion spacecrafts of varying classes ply the space ways. Galaxy-class ships are capable of hauling 10 million passengers from one end of the galaxy to another and carry enough equipment and supplies to form substantial settlements on once barren planets. Planetary-class ships carry a maximum of 1000 passengers and travels at speeds slightly less than Galaxy-class ships at full “throttle” (some old style terminology have stuck on despite advances in technology). Maximum acceleration generates forces of up to 120 Gs. Thankfully artificial gravity field technology has kept pace with warp drive improvements to allow passengers to enjoy the freedom of the galaxy without suffering from acceleration sickness. Planetary liners are very much like the old time Greyhound Interstate buses; they travel from system to system on a weekly basis, departing from the space-docks over the capital planets. Inter-system-class ships are much smaller and have less speed and power, most having perhaps one-tenth the thrust of Planetary-class warp engines. They transport passengers from planet to planet within systems and vary in sizes. Many belong to rich individuals or corporations that appreciate the luxury and liberty of flying from planet to planet without following the schedule of Public Space Travel Pte Ltd. Needless to say there are countless other ships of varying builds and sizes, some made for luxury to tour the countless systems, some small and speedy to jump from planet to planet.

       Ergo all that I have written so far is only a prologue to the events that has befallen all of humankind. This rambling history of man hides a single underlying reason behind everything that humans have strove so hard for. The meaning of our existence. As individuals and also as a whole species. Why were we made and gifted with an intellect which other living creature were never so fortunate to obtain? Why do we fight, eat, make love, draw, work, swim, run or do anything at all? We frankly do not know for what purpose. Billions of philosophers of modern and of old like Plato, Socrates, Janus and Kee have pondered the very question and have wasted their lives away not finding even an inkling of an answer. Modern Man has learnt from their mistakes and know that since the answer can never come from within, it must definitely come from without. And so we have searched the lands over the horizons, into the skies and now into the stars and beyond. This is the reason why people have gone to live further and further from Earth, the birth-place of our kind and have gone to live on the outer rim, the darkest edges of charted territories and even out of the galaxy into the void of the universe. Even then, the mysteries of the galaxy and its multitude of planets and stars were soon laid bare to us and Man was once again left without the answer to their ultimate question as they had been on Earth a thousand years ago.

       CESA was renamed the GSD (Galaxy Space Directorate) in year 3098 and proceeded to regulate all space related issues like transport, law enforcement and exploration which gave it sweeping authority over many issues. It had many embassies in almost all habited planets while loyally maintaining its headquarters on Mother Earth, which was officially the capital of the galaxy. Thus the old saying ‘the universe revolves around the Earth’ was quaintly given new meaning. The GSD fortunately remained graft free despite the immense influence it exerted on galaxy politics and economics. Its charge of opening shipping hyper lanes soon enlarged its coffers considerably as many systems vied to be accessible to Mother Earth, which was where all monies and goods were being traded. This large revenue was put to good use. GSD commissioned 1 million unmanned hyper warp drive surveying drones, which were constructed by one of their subsidiary companies Nova Ship Construction Pte Ltd. The cost was in excess of 35 trillion Earth Credits which was the legal tender used by all colonies far and wide. The drones were deployed on year 3110 on the 15^th of March to commemorate the death of Bill Gates the father of A.I. They were sent on their way in 1 million different directions to surpass the outer rim of the galaxy to explore the deep void and to regularly transmit back their discovery via impulse accelerated electromagnetic signals, which traveled at 250 times the speed of light. They were scheduled to bypass the Omega border (imaginary line separating the known galaxy and uncharted territory) on varying dates but all within the year of 3127. GSD assigned a team of technicians to monitor the ‘life signs’ of their probes and to interpret the signals being returned. On the 25^th of December, the technicians threw a party to celebrate the last drone crossing the Omega border and also to celebrate Christmas as well.

Even after such a long time, mankind still placed their hopes in Jesus Christ and his promise of eternal salvation. All minor religions and most major ones had long ago lost all their followers. A universal census noted that a mere 1.3 trillion people worshipped Allah and almost a negligible number in Buddha or the Hindu gods. 79% of the galaxy’s population believed in Jesus Christ. This was due mostly to the fact that in more than a thousand years of space faring, no signs of sentient alien life had ever been discovered. Simple germ like cells thrived in water-rich planets but surprising no complex creatures existed in any of them to the contrary to the conjectures of Carl Sagen, Stephan Hawkins and Neil Armstrong. Mankind had never thought itself to be more special and unique just as Jesus Christ had promised we would be. (The conversion of the multitudes could also be explained by the media blitz that the Vatican initiated to demonize the other religions in subtle but damning ways but associating them to terrorism and crime.) The entire universe seemed to have been created solely for humankind. Religion also served to provide mankind with a love for peace, which caused wars to become non-existent. The last war fought was the Australian Conflict, which took place in 2009 and has since left textbooks to tell children what atrocities war consisted of.

Head technician of the ‘probe program’ Dr. Aaron Talos was censured when the probes started to return readings which neither he nor his crew could understand in year 3145. His explanations of a ‘bug in the drones’ was woefully inadequate to his bosses in GSD and almost left him unemployed if not for his long record of distinguished service to the directorate. Dr. Talos began to analyse the data streams being sent back by all the drones, which strangely showed a reading of infinity for intensity in all frequencies of the electromagnetic spectrum. This was quite evidently a serious bug in the programming of the probes as all of them were sending back similar data streams upon passing the 7.77 x 10⁷⁷⁷⁷⁷⁷  light year distance from Earth. Even the intensity of visible light on the surface of Sol was a mere 3 quadtrillion candelas. Thus an intensity of infinite candelas which the drones were supposedly experiencing was impossible. Dr. Talos pored through the data streams and finally locked onto the infrared streams, which was displaying a veritable fluctuation despite all other radiation in the known spectrum being displayed as infinite. Aaron singled out the datum and ran it through his powerful Intel 12000 Gigabyte processor. Within minutes the A.I software prompted him to match the fluctuations intervals with the binary code still being used as the most fundamental form of programming literature. After an hour, the computer suggested to Aaron to place the bits of data in a 7000 by 7000 square box where the I and 0 formed consistently recognisable patterns in the 49,000,000 bit caches that were being returned between 10 second intervals. Each set of 49 million bit caches seemed to differ only slightly from the preceding set. Aaron suddenly hit on a brainwave and instead of trying to decipher hidden codes with the numerous III00III0000IIII00III000 which appeared random in nature, he requested the computer to display the 49 million bit caches in macro scale with blanks left in the place of the ‘O’s. The first cache was displayed on a projection screen and Aaron gasped as a picture of a man who looked exactly like Jesus Christ as depicted in the shroud of Turin was projected onto the screen. The individual ‘I’s could not be seen on such a large scale and only served to act as pixels on a display monitor, drawing out the image in black and white. Aaron quickly instructed the computer to perform the same task to all the other caches and to superimpose them in sequential order. The result was startling as the human face on the screen flickered quickly and took on expressions. Aaron accelerated the process and the mouth of Jesus Christ started to move, forming inaudible words. Dr. Talos knew at once that such a discovery could not be kept secret within any agency even one as noble as the GSD. He downloaded the caches into his wrist computer and flew to the pre-eminent broadcasting corporation on Earth in his private shuttle. I know all this because the story of Dr. Talos’ find was told in every electronic newspaper and media on Earth and off Earth following the broadcast of the ‘Talking Shroud Of Turin’ as reporters dubbed it. Expert lip readers of all languages were brought into the studios of GNN (Galaxy News Network) and people from the whole galaxy watched with mouths wide open as the lip readers began to translate the lip movements. The experts acknowledged at once that the talking head was speaking English, to their astonishment, and since at least 8 of them were fluent in it (an understatement) they capably articulated the words spouting from the soundless figure. The first words were,” I am God. My names include Jesus Christ, Yaweh, Emmanuel, Lord…” It continued to explain that by being God, it was essentially a collection of energy directed by a begotten consciousness. It was infinitely powerfully and its energy permeated every inch of space. His visible form encompassed the galaxy in every direction and was bounded only by infinity. The reason why the electromagnetic radiation and visible light emanating from itself did not travel to within the galaxy to be detected was because It willed the radiation to not do so. It then explained a great many and wonderful things about Itself, about history, about It’s nature and about ourselves. It also explained that when all people, good or bad die, their souls join with his being and that was the heaven as was documented in Christian scripture. There is also no Hell as we know it. The 70-hour silent film ended explaining a vast number of things except the meaning of life. Why did It make us and put us into the worlds. Religious fervour grew seven fold as churches swelled to maximum capacity and 99.957% of humans stated Christianity as their religion since the question of the existence of God had been indisputably answered. However, many philosophers remained unsatisfied that God had not answered our most important question. What is the meaning of Life? (This question of course entails many sub questions like: Why did God make us, what is our purpose of existing etc.) Many people started to identify with the philosophers and their number grew so large that they had the influence to convince me, GSD director Dr. Walter Humphrey Atkins to use the drones to speak with God and ask him The Question.

After a lot of debate in the media, out of the media, in homes, offices, barbershops, supermarkets, cafes, cars, libraries, schools, embassies, hospitals, old folks homes and out of them as well, the general consensus was that The Question must be posed to God. I complied with the request of the people of the galaxy fearing a public lynching if I denied them and having no reason to deny them anyway, I did it. (By the way I did retain the services of Dr. Aaron Talos despite his gross indiscretion as he could possibly do more harm than good if in a foreign employ) All the drones were remotely instructed to short wave transmit The Question using the simple binary code. God replied in similar fashion,” What is meaning? I do not understand the word.” Mankind was suitably stunned at the reply and were taken aback that a supposedly omniscient entity could be baffled. Then scholars came up with a reason. Perhaps there really was no meaning to what we mean by ‘meaning’. In fact every dictionary written does not sufficiently explain what ‘meaning’ is despite some that use up almost a page in printed small font. The term ‘meaning’ is solely a human psychological craving for wanting something more to exist behind what we experience through our senses. God already knowing everything there is to know, knows that there isn’t anything more behind whatever he experiences, thus has no need for meaning.

Scientist, philosophers, politicians and all the great people of the galaxy gathered on Earth at GSD headquarters on September the 9^th 3155 to send a final communiqué to reconfirm what the scholars had extrapolated. They awaited his reply with apprehension and baited breaths. God answered through the drones,” Yes. That is right. There is no meaning to your lives. I created Man for the mere sake of doing so. Even that had no significance on my part. It was simply to be.” The reply was broadcasted to all corners of the galaxy as all of mankind took in It’s answer, watching from their holographic televisions. Once that was over, the entire human race collectively paused for a moment taking in this new knowledge and rationalised: If that is so then there was no reason behind following laws, whether secular or religious. Life was simply a hedonistic road trip. Everyone should do what he or she wanted all the time. Honour, duty and codes of conduct could very well be discarded together with any meaning that went with life. Overnight (or shall I say over one half standard galaxy day) all semblance of order or lawfulness turned into drunken riots, anarchies, debauchery, crime, mutiny, rebellion and self-indulgence. Everywhere in capitals, cities, metropolises, suburbs, outbacks, space stations and moon colonies one turned there was upheaval. No one was safe any longer. There was no police to look after the innocent, no parents to look after their children. Nobody cared about anything any longer. The weak were preyed on by the strong, the innocent ravaged by the evil.

Only a small band of people were concerned about anything other than themselves as all the rest of humankind gave in to their baser and more natural instincts of selfishness and survival. They were a select troop of intellects at GSD headquarters. I, Dr. Walter Humphrey Atkins, head of the space directorate feel responsible for unleashing the greatest misfortune of all on Mankind. With me I took Dr. Aaron, Dr. Kilgore head of the Energy Department, Professor Jack Dell of the A.I Research Branch and 300 more of assorted engineers, technicians, analysts, staff and enlightened academics including philosophers, physicians, physicist, astronomers, mathematicians who were sympathetic to my endeavour. I think that God is wrong. Our lives do have meaning. We are not inferior to God, we have simply evolved into creatures beyond his conceptualisation. We are no more the Cro-Magnon Neolithic monsters that he crafted billions of years ago. Through our own diligence as a collective species we have become so exceedingly evolved that we experience emotions that even God does not experience. God is not the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent being that we made him out to be. ‘It’ is simply our creator with magnificent powers but nonetheless not human; even when it took the form of Jesus; only appearing to be one.

Our drones have remained intact all these while and one particular drone, Number 79511 has established that the electromagnetism encompassing the galaxy is actually not homogenous as previously thought but was emanating from a spherical mass of incomprehensible density and exhibiting characteristics not unlike a star. It exuded the spectrum of electromagnetic radiation, which It apparently willed to curve around the galaxy instead of allowing it to travel in its straight path. This drone had stationed itself close to this apparent physical manifestation of God and had detected that the sphere is composed of known elements. So far it has identified, uranium, cobalt, iron, magnesium, carbon and many more. A conference with the 300 odd people aboard my luxurious Planetary-class cruiser cleared the air about a number of matters pertaining to my endeavours. First of all, the materials necessary to construct an anti-matter bomb were available on hand at our GSD mining orbital port in the Caltron Nebula System. Second, a base of operations was open to us on that orbital port as many loyal to our course had gained control of the facility and awaited our arrival. Third, the God-entity is physical and therefore our anti-matter bomb can kill it.

By doing so, I hope to edify the galaxy about our superiority to God and show them that despite our meaninglessness, we have made a meaning unto ourselves through the work and play we perform everyday of our lives. We do not need a God that stands idly by as people murder and rape and pillage and destroy each other in the wake of his revelation. Such a God we disown. Only by destroying Him can all of Mankind awaken from the madness that besieges us to understand that we are masters of our own destiny. Call me a heretic, a Satanist or a maniac but such an idea is not so alien as to be unreasonable to a logical person. If a person could for one moment divorce himself from the romanticism associated with the culture of religion as men have shaped it over the millennia, he could understand the task I have undertaken. For eight months following our departure from Earth, the many talented people I brought along sought to construct my bomb. (Yes, I agree that it almost sounds crude to suggest hurting God with a bomb but there is no reason to think why it should not. God as we know resides within the space and time of the universe and must therefore conform to his own laws of physics. ) We toiled all hours of the day and night as shifts of engineers worked to manipulate the anti-matter and to prepare my starship for the perilous ride that will take me into the ravages of the electromagnetic storm that surrounds our galaxy. Finally on the 20^th of May 3156, both the bomb and my ship were ready to undergo the journey. We were scheduled to lift-off the next morning, enabling me to experience one last evening before my suicidal mission. Before turning in that night, I knelt down beside my bed and prayed in the hope of being blessed with some sort of divine communication with God that could circumvent my intentions. Nothing happened as was the case every single night I took to my knees in the traditional form of worship before the 9^th of September 3155.

The next day my band of colleagues and friends waved a sombre farewell and I departed in my spacecraft never to return. The journey was to take 5 months before entering the electron maelstrom. That is estimated to take place 15 minutes from now as I have written all that has happened to our kind in the past 4.4 million years and I feel is an appropriate way to effect closure before I end my life in the anti-matter explosion which shall undoubtedly end my life. And to you the people of my beloved galaxy, please awaken from the dream you have been lulled into after you have read all that I have written and know that we are a great and independent species who will live on no matter what. My message goes out to everyone to every part of habited space even now as I end with a most sincere farewell.

THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

I stood in the queue waiting. It seemed like I’d been waiting for a lifetime and there didn’t seem to be anyone I know in this place. Thus I was quite pleased when Peter walked up to me and struck up a conversation. Peter wasn’t exactly an acquaintance per se. He was a part of the senior management in the establishment and I felt quite awed when he asked me how my day was.

Initially I was hesitant to complain about how badly my day went but he seemed genuinely concerned and his open manner beguiled me into telling him with relish the most eventful day of my life.

“This morning I woke up fully refreshed and noticed with delight that there was exactly one minute left before my alarm clock was to ring. This I assure you does not occur very often as I often sleep past the alarm, which results in me being late for work and ending up with a reprimand from my boss to begin the day.

Today however nothing conspired to slow my progress from home to Pizza Hut along

where I worked as a deliveryman. The key to my motorcycle was left obediently on the kitchen counter top, thus saving me from the usual hunts in the morning to locate it. My hunger was appeased by a bowl of extraordinarily fresh ‘honey-stars’ and milk while the radio station put on my favorite Linkin’ Park song. Subsequently I got onto my bike and left my home on

(which isn’t as grand as the place implies it to be). Weaving along Orchard Street and down to Pike Street in this early morning rush is usually quite a frustrating experience but today was different as the drivers in the cars were most courteous and gave me the right of way; many of them with a friendly smile and a wave of their hand. I soon negotiated my way past Rutgers Slip and cut through East River Piers for a shortcut to

Montgomery

and turned up at

7.50am

, ten minute early for work to the approval for Mr. Jeffery, my boss.  Anticipating no orders for pizzas so early on a weekday as was usually the case, I strode to the cashier’s counter to strike up a conversation with the pretty waitress Amy. I had wanted to ask her out for many a time since I began work here but have deemed the circumstances unfavorable. Today with Lady Luck smiling at me, I felt that surely today was more favorable that any other day. I cast a charming smile and proceeded to chat her up. Most unexpectedly, she took to my inane chatter about the sizes of skate board wheels. We soon hit it off and I soon discovered to my delight that she was also a fanatic skate boarder. I easily got her telephone number but was interrupted by Mr. Jeffery who informed me of a large delivery to be met by some office workers. Feeling jubilant, I promised to catch up with her after I returned and took one last look at her beguiling pixie-like face. Picking up the 6 cardboard boxes of Hawaiian Supreme and Shrimp Special with Stuffed Crusts along with the destination address, I hopped onto my bike and sped off. The address was familiar enough and I had no trouble planning the route along the way. I took E Broadway at a fast cruise and remember glancing at the time. 8.11am. I made good time as I reached Chamber Street via Lafayette and Elk Street.

As I reached the lobby of the office tower, the security guard there waved me along with his familiar cherry disposition. I am quite a regular here as the office workers in this building have a great loving for the Italian fare made American by the Pizza Hut advertisements. The elevator sped me up to the 38^th floor and the doors opened to a typical office din of fax machines whirring as they dispensed sheet after sheet of documents, people conversing about million dollar projects and computers emitting the pleasant chimes as they were started up into ‘Windows’.

Apparently the morning had just begun and a smartly dressed gentleman in a double-breasted business suit approached me clutching a fat ‘Pierre Cardin’ wallet that looked like it had almost twenty credit cards stashed into it. I placed the 6 boxes of pizzas onto the receptionist counter and retrieved my credit card reader as the gentleman obviously felt that he would transact in nothing so crude as cash. We chitchatted inconsequentially as the credit card reader took its time to effect the transaction. I cast an admiring eye at the petite receptionist on whose desk we were using to place the pizzas on. She was listening in politely to our conversation and a stray glance at her eyes took my breath away. I shyly looked away outside the glass windows that showed an expansive view of Manhattan and my mouth fell open in disbelief. A large Boeing 737 passenger plane with the designation number AA-11 painted on its side veered through the air a mere hundred meters away from the building I was in. It closed in at a horrifying speed and smashed into the very tower we were in; only 5 or 6 floors above us. The entire World Trade Center shuddered terrifyingly and released an even more ominous metallic groan that was sure to bode ill for us all. An enormous explosion ripped through the tower and the flaming wreckage of the aeroplane’s tail section fell past us, crashing onto the streets below. Insofar, level 38 suffered no damage other than our shattered peace of mind. I stared at the receptionist in stunned disbelief and she at me. I started to smile, glad to be alive despite such an incomprehensible accident when her face turned pale and started to scream. I whipped around only to witness four large digits painted in black, AA-77, as a second jumbo jet exploded into the Twin Towers sending shreds of  deadly glass from the windows flying into my face.

       Which was the last thing I remember before I got into this queue St. Peter. So when do you think it’ll be my turn to meet Jesus?”

LOVE LOST

Randall opened the dark red leather bound diary and read.

16^th January 1989

Monday

It hasn’t been a month past from the beginning of term yet and I seemed to have already set a school record for truancy in

East End

Junior College

. Today I made a public apology in front of the entire school and my day couldn’t have been worse. So what if I had skipped those Economic Studies tutorials! It isn’t as if the tutor is any good. I can make the distinction grade even without those classes! The humiliation was intolerable. All those people with their snide looks muttering behind my back. Naturally I attended today’s Economics tutorial (for the first time) and was chastised by Mr. Grant even before I took my seat. “So you’ve finally decided to grace us with your presence, your Highness?” he said; his voice dripping with sarcasm, accentuated by his horrible

Yorkshire

accent. I mashed his face to pulp and roundhouse kicked his fat, ugly behind in my imagination. I would have actually realized that thought if I didn’t think I was in enough trouble as it was with the principal already promising to send regular communiqués to my dad regarding my class attendance.  To make matters worse I had singularly no acquaintances in this class as my peers sat comfortably within their cliques, smirking at Mr. Grant’s witty remark. A girl thought she’d add on her own choice words to my edification except that she didn’t say it to me directly. Instead she said it loudly to her girlfriend as I passed them to take a seat. “Truant boy…nasty face…know it all” I didn’t catch all she said not for lack of volume of course because I distinctly remember the whole class breaking into guffaws Perhaps it was the raging dinosaur that was roaring in my brain at that moment that caused my ears to block out those offending choice quips. Perhaps it is selective deafness- a disease I contract on a frequent basis nowadays. I chose not to retaliate even though I had a number of my own quips to hurl back into her face; given my gentlemanly personality I walked the nobler path of discretion. The tutorial went on with Mr. Grant expounding on theorem after theorem. He labored so arduously to impart these ideas to my peers but they only seemed to rebound off their thick, dense heads. With the looks of their hopelessly blank faces, I guessed as much that their combined IQ in kilograms couldn’t weigh as much as a shrimp was in grams. Mr. Grant was near exasperation when he called on Christine. “Well sir, obviously leakages are defined as withdrawals of potential planned expenditure from the income expenditure stream. Leakages are savings, purchases of goods from other countries and taxes. Naturally whenever a leakage occurs, consumption necessarily falls. This thus tends to reduce the equilibrium level of national income, unless, of course, leakages are offset by injections.” I could recall her answer verbatim because I too had the answer on the tip of my tongue but was disinclined to voice it out in defiance of the loathsome Mr. Grant. And also because I have a perfect photographic and audiographic memory. The economic guru appeared appeased for the moment and required no more brain tissue sacrifice from the other dim-witted junior college students. I was fairly astonished that this mere girl was so well versed in Economic theorems but my recently wounded pride wouldn’t allow my countenance to be outwardly surprised. I finally felt a worthy academic challenge stirring in my heart. Oh the love of academia!

27^th March 1989

More than two months has elapsed since my first Economics lesson and still that horrid woman refuses to admit to my superior analytical prowess in Economics.  Granted that with regards to Mathematics and Further Mathematics we were considered on par by the respective tutors. I freely admit that I’m minutely behind her in English Literature but who cares for the silly word of Edmund Blunden, C.S Lewis, H.W Garrard or Nevil Coghill! Their fantasies play no part in the vicissitudes of today. It is in Geography that the war would be won. Surely in Economics she can pander to that infantile tutor and squirrel the necessary marks out of him and in General Paper she may find her way out of my superior logic by the usage of gilded words and memorized nomenclature. But in Geography! In Geography only the precise application of logic and concise understanding of convoluted processes can gain you the required distinction! Touché. How can a girl possibly grasp the fullness of this multifarious subject? I shall set about making myself a true savant in this subject and acquire the highest distinction in the upcoming semester assessment.

Randall flips the page in the leather bound diary and a yellowed parchment slips from between the leaves. An assortment of letters and documents are interspersed in between entries in the tome. Of which Randall picks out the yellowed one and read.

“

East End

Junior College

Semester Assessment Report Card.” He traces his finger down the parchment and noted,” General Paper A1. Mathematics A1. Further Mathematics A1. English Literature A1. Economics A1. Geography A2.”

Another set of scores was scribbled in pencil next to the column of printed results. A heading in underline read,” Christine”. Below it was as follows,” General Paper A1. Mathematics A1. Further Mathematics A. English Literature A1. Economics A1. Geography A1” Evidently Christine had scored one grade better in Geography. A quivering smile traced across Randall’s lips and his eyes fell back onto the diary entries.

18^th June 1989

I received a prize today in school. It was in recognition of the extraordinary effort that went into revising for the assessment. The chief benchmark that indicated effort put into revising for the tests seemed to be the results achieved. So I would say the prize was given more in recognition of my intellect rather than in work put into preparation. Because frankly a great deal of other lesser students seemed to have put in much more effort than I did. But the results weren’t proportional to efforts were they? Other students who were previously cavalier in their attitude towards me now all find that they want to include me in their study groups. The number of people that clapped me on the back and went all chummy after I received my prize was embarrassing.

One thing though that irked me was that Christine was the other student in my cohort that clinched this silly prize. And she managed to get an A1 in geography to boot. Well I knew all along that Geography was an inane course of study, fit only for imbeciles with a 140 I.Q. Surely any fool could memorize chunks of paragraphs off those handy textbooks and regurgitate them out on examination sheets. Hardly the need to get genius of my caliber to sit down for 2 hours to pen it down. Such a waste of time. Of course I could have gotten the one grade higher necessary to achieve a perfect score but the test questions didn’t quite require any usage of imagination or frankly I would’ve put in more interest into the answers and Mrs. Whitley is also rather gender biased even if unknowingly so. Being perfect all the time is honestly quite boring as well. A little imperfection to anything is what gives it flavor don’t you think?

That annoying girl somehow managed to think that this assessment results proved some point. She managed to fire off some quips before departing the prize presentation,” Augustine! How nice that you managed to scrap at least the six passes. I would have been sated with three if I were endowed with your intellect.”

Her high English twang suggested that she spent countless hours in front of a mirror imitating Mr. Grant. I must say that she imitated it quite well but the fact that she adopted a false accent to appear sophisticated was down right childish.

“Oh yeah, at least I don’t have a mere 145 point I.Q unlike some pseudo-scholar.”  Ah. I forgot to mention that I had sneaked a peep at her mensa test score in the school records room prior to lessons a few days before. Personally I have a respectable 155 point score and am considered a minor prodigy in serious scholastic circles. But a mere 145 score. Ha. She is a mere plebian. She left stunned that I knew of her abysmal score. Her entourage trailed behind her. Until that moment I had failed to notice that she had an entourage. Consisting of a number of athletic looking yet dim chaps. Well my father always told me that ‘birds of a feather flock together’. They combined dimness was certain to take the light out of any florescent lamp.

7^th August 1989

I have been too busy to write these past few months. Following the acknowledgement of my cerebral talents, the school had lined up a number of scholastic events for me to participate in. The International Mathematics Olympiad. The Youth Science Challenge. The

Intra

School

General Knowledge Quiz and The

Inter-Junior

College

Current Affairs Debate. In the former three events I am pleased to say I clinched first, second and first place respectively. My failure to achieve champion in that single event was due to Christine’s lucky guess at the resulting precipitate formed from the combination of calcium anhydrite and sodium disulphide. In the two events that I emerged tops, runner up was afforded to Christine. In the latter event, the school dispatched a two-man team to parry with the 15 other distinguished institutions by which Christine and I had to work together as the principal understood that only by combining the two best think tanks could our school hope to attain any accolades. Initially we were reluctant to cooperate, as our egos seemed determined to keep us apart by virtue of sharp tongues and even sharper quips. The Debate was conducted in a league manner where each college met with another and the victor would contest with consequent colleges until the final pair of debaters was left triumphant. In the preliminary round,

East End

was scheduled to debate with Havelock JC. Christine had out rightly refused to discuss any action plan in preparation beforehand. Similarly I had no desire to enter into unnecessary discourse with such a loathsome creature. Unprepared, we both met at the National University Cultural Auditorium to take on the

Havelock

team, knowing full well that any chances of emerging undefeated were slim or negligible. I remember full well the opening gambit of the opposing duo who came well laden with debating ammunition, ready to inundate us with obscure findings of little known experts in the topic of the debate which was “Reform or Die. Discuss in the context of

Japan

.”  They said,” Ladies and Gentleman, the question of whether to reform or not is redundant. Change is a constant in this neocolonistic world and

Japan

faces a threat of entering a downward spiral with regards to its economy and will face consequences that affect the country on a social, political and even an environmental front. Statistics show that Japan’s public debt hovers at 150% of its GDP-far higher than that of any OECD country while the latest report by a U.S consultancy McKinsey and Co, states that labour productivity is 30% of…blah ..blah …blah” I would go on but their angle of argument was so well used that any child who reads the newspapers could easily have predicted what they had to say. I remember that Christine even caught my eye and commiserated through her expression that such infantile students could ever dare to masquerade as real scholars. The scent as she turned to face me conjured up visions of lilies in the morning as they bowed low laden with dew. A most peculiar and distinct smell that was as delicious as any Lacoste perfume. She did not appear to be very attentive to their barrage of singularly uninteresting chatter but stood up the moment they concluded their piece. I was caught unaware and sat dumbly in my seat not daring to counter their argument since Christine seemed to have it well in hand. “Well argued dear fellows”, she began. “The intrigue of your perspective is almost worthy of a samurai drama however you seem to have forgotten that

Japan

is currently at its peak of off-shore capital productivity. And that its 14% growth in its FDI suggests a looming boom which reflect the increasing confidence of its U.S investors. “ She continued to tear the opponents argument to shreds and exploited loopholes in their argument that only a most discerning mind could pick out. As she started to wind down her argument I signaled her to pass the baton on to me. She halted and allowed me to enter the fray. “As my partner has so deftly put it the Japanese economy holds three trillion dollars in deposits from ordinary consumers attracted by the government’s ironclad income guarantees. This alone is sufficient to…” I continued to expound for a further fifteen minutes, which left no point uncovered, no statistic unquoted and no possible counter offensive from the opposing team. I felt sure that between the two of us we had shocked and awed the audience with our copious deluge of well-woven words. The judges seemed suitably impressed and adjourned the assembly for a few moments to consider the results. Personally I felt that there was little to consider. The decision was clear to all sitting in the stands. The judge returned in minutes and declared

East End

the undisputed champion of this preliminary. Our fellows cheered us hoarse and borne us away to a celebratory luncheon in our own school cafeteria. I did not have a chance to speak to Christine as I saw her surrounded by a hoard of admiring athletes who surely could not have gone to the event for interest of current affairs. Christine’s fine hair was quite chic but who would have reckoned that even the rugby players would brave the intellectual event to see her in action? I never noticed before but her legs were quite shapely and tapered down from her uniform-skirt in a very womanly fashion. Perhaps her legs were so highly visible due to the excessively short skirt (in my opinion). Her uniform-blouse was fitted quite tightly around her chest, which could only be described as arbalette and would have been most exciting if clothed with something other than the drab green uniform wore by all East Enders. No wonder that silly woman commanded so much attention. Funny I never realized that until now.

10^th August 1989

The subsequent days following our victory, I refrained from talking about any strategies with Christine concerning upcoming debates with other colleges. In fact I haven’t even talked to her. In fact I admit I avoid even her eyes. Oh posh. I feel so silly, almost acting like a thirteen year old.

11^th August 1989

As I was walking home from school today, I found myself walking behind Christine along the pedestrian walkway. She was a good fifty yards away from me and had a myriad of books, notes and files in her arms. All of a sudden, a cyclist I hadn’t noticed before sped past her and his handlebars clipped the stack of academic paraphernalia. The cyclist wobbled but didn’t bother to part with an apology or assistance as he made good his escape. Christine on the other hand lost her grip on her possessions and they slipped to the ground. Unfiled notes and scraps of draft essays spilled to the pavement while a mischievous breeze whipped the loose sheets into a mini-tornado. She gasped in dismay and attempted to recollect her papers. Without thinking I automatically ran forward to assist her. Between the both of us we soon had the better of the errant draft of wind and her notes and books and files were once more safely in her arms. For once my perfect memory fails me and I can barely remember the conversation that ensued due to the rapid rush of blood to my face causing a serious shortage in my dorsolateral prefrontal cortex / brain. The gist of what she said was that she was very thankful of my presence, she was terribly sorry for all past verbal skirmishes and that she would be delighted to study with me tomorrow. Oh yeah, I did ask her to study with me the next day.

19^th October 1989

Dear diary, these past few weeks have been so delightful. Oh! The exchange of such complex ideas with a person who can appreciate them for what they are. Academia has never been so doubly rewarding. Everyday since that fateful bicycle incident, I have been studying with Christine Anne Mary. The most special girl I know. Never have I known a girl who did not have a brain of a cow or the vocabulary of a fish. Naturally since then we have been preparing for the subsequent debates with the more gifted debaters from the more distinguished colleges. It was also natural as well that we out-spoke, out-reasoned and sent them to the outhouse as it soon became apparent that it was there most of them belonged. Our arguments were even sharper and more persuasive than that of the preliminaries owing to the preparation put in. With our combined mental powers we took the competition by storm and the panel of illustrious judges conceded that they had never stood witness to such a brilliant tag-team in their years of judging. With the trophy in our hands, the combined press from Mediacorp, Lianhe Morning Paper and a dozen college papers, Christine placed her lips on my flush cheeks as a dozen cameras captured our picture and splashed them across the newspapers the next morning. Soon, the train of athletic suitors started to dwindle and Christine happily showed no sign of displeasure at the loss of attention. I too showed no sign of displeasure at her loss.

Day after day we spend our time together never leaving each other for more than the evening to go our separate ways home, only to meet again the next morning. We go to lectures and tutorials together and spend the time after school studying for the upcoming year-end exams. More often than not we hold these study sessions in her house, which is a large bungalow that obviously hints of moneyed parents. The furniture is beautiful. Many of which are Louis XV period pieces masterfully crafted. The floor is carpeted with a plush velvet layer fit for royalty and the rooms are lit by gilded chandeliers. Even the seats which we sit on are an expensive fausee paire probably auctioned off by Sotheby’s at an exorbitant price. I was left in no doubt of her superior social status but of which I cared nothing for. My room in my parents’ home is spartan with almost Neolithic fashion furniture and a neo-classical toilet that worked on a manual flushing system / pail.

28^th November 1989

Today I sat for the Geography paper, which marks the culmination of one year’s academic efforts. I should be elated but something happened which has left me at a loss. After the perfunctory class celebration, I walked Christine home and we enjoyed each other’s company perhaps for the last time. I don’t know.

When we arrived at her residence, I felt an irresistible urge to kiss her goodnight.

My cheeks lit up bright as a beacon from the thought alone. But before I could muster my courage to do so, I already felt her cool lips pressed lightly against mine. My innards turned to jelly, as she didn’t release her medusa like enchantment on me. Coyly she opened the door and led me into the house. I followed her, my mind agog at what was happening. We went into her room and fell into an amorous embrace within each other’s arms. We explored each others body as we had explored each other’s minds everyday since. Our passion seemed to be fueled by each kiss and before we knew it our clothes lay strewn on the ground. There was no embarrassment at our nakedness as knowing each other as we did; the lacking of garments seemed to be unimportant. Just at that moment, Mary Anne Senior barged into the room unannounced and witnessing the ugliness of her daughter, fainted on the spot. Okay maybe it wasn’t the ugliness of her daughter that caused such a superlative reaction. In any case her slumping onto the ground caused enough commotion to attract her husband onto the unfortunate scene. He ranted and raved, seeing his spouse out cold on the floor and his only child naked in the arms of a strange man. I returned home shortly.

Now as I sit quietly in my own room, my own father rants and raves together with Christine’s father on the phone. I overhear through the extension line Christine’s father recommending a generous whipping to stop my filthy lowbred self from philandering with his daughter in future. I wonder how my father is going to punish me. I wonder if my father will forgive me for loving her.

Randall dropped the pistol and the diary onto the ground and realized that he had made a mistake in his rage. His son wasn’t a philanderer, but merely in love. He had not sought any explanation whilst the fury took over his body moments after listening to Christine’s father hyperbolize Augustine’s character flaws. Only seeking to read the diary after the deed was done, he started to scream a crazed scream, as his son lay slumped against the wall with a bullet hole in his once perfect brain.

THE END